How to bounce back from failure
Do you have the faintest idea on how to bounce back from failure and start Winning? My note today deals with how I bounced back from failure, in fact series of failures.
I have failed many times, I am no longer ashame to admit that I am a serial failure. I flunked all my courses in the University and graduated at the bottom of my class. Now I cannot ever get a job at any of the international oil companies (IOCs), like Shell or Chevron or even a multinational corporation. I have also failed in businesses. One time I started a company producing the wrist bracelets for churches and organizations which they use to promote their programs and events. It was made popular by the former Tour de France winner, Lance Armstrong with his LIVESTRONG wristband which he uses effectively to raise awareness about cancer. Soccer fans wore them to support their various clubs. My wrist bracelets business failed when I outsourced production to China for a particular church with an unusual population without first learning their doctrine. To say the least, it was a disaster. I also started a business selling reagents, chemicals and laboratory equipment. This also went the way of the former. It simply refuse to gain traction and was affected by the exchange rate then. I have also failed in other ventures including this blog you are reading now. I need not bore you with details. Although, after failing at most things I have done, I have learned something from the experiences. I also failed to gain admission into the prestigious military academy, the Nigeria Defense Academy to be a career soldier. Apart from failing in businesses I have also failed as an author. As an Amazon KDP self publisher, my book sold a few copies and stopped selling. The book can be termed a failure.
In my quiet time I cried and asked God to help me find success. But it seems God does not listen to mortals like me. Failure seems to run in my DNA and sometimes I wish I am a Batman or a Superman who has enormous powers to do great things. Unfortunately, I am not. I have to learn the hard way and keep trying and hoping that success would find me soon. When you are a perpetual failure a lot of things could happen. For example, you could go homeless. Ah! It’s denigrating and erodes your self esteem as a person. You could get sick and other negative things could befall you because of lack money to give yourself the best things in life. However, I am doing a real soul searching, by studying the failures and making several evaluations on myself to turn things around. One thing to note here is that the failures are a blessing as I have gained a repertoire of knowledge and experiences and seem to be light years ahead of my peers.
In all these I have learned some lessons and draw some conclusions on how to bounce back from failure. I will highlight what I did and what I learned along the way.
Many people failed and they take it too far, lamenting and expecting sympathy. failing is a part of the process of winning. We are now going to look at some tips on how to bounce back from failure quickly. These points are some of the things I did to come back from the brink each time.
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How to Bounce Back from Failure
Join me as we take a jolly ride into the ways that worked for me and I believe can work for you too.
BE AWARE OF THE NEXT DOOR OPENING
Hellen Keller, I think it was that said when one door closes another one is opening, but we looked too long at the closed door that we fail to see the one that is opening. This is true always, but our attention is always fixated on what we have lost and most times we remain there moaning our fate, even when the universe has opened another door and opportunity as a leeway for the next step in the journey. Life is wired to always bring us set backs for a reason– to wake us up from slumber and sharpen our creative abilities. Most times the solution to the problem we faced is only a hairs breadth away. Often, because of attachment to the problems, we fail to recognize the help that the universe is bringing our way through our nudges, the still small voice in our hearts and even in dreams urging us on, on the next steps to take.
Some years ago, I won the United States diversity Visa lottery. Winning the lottery was a big deal in Nigeria, as almost everyone have the ambition to leave Nigeria to a place where life is good and the system is working. The United States is synonymous with a good life and a place where you can make your dreams come to fruition. Although I am not sure about this now, but that was what I felt when I won the dv lottery. I was euphoric and estastic. Everyday, I would dream of waking up in a majestic beautiful home in St. Paul Minnesota, my preferred destination. However, the dream was cut short when I was not invited for a visa interview, because the quota allocated to Nigeria got exhausted before it got to my case number. Yea, you could imagine how disappointed and frustrated I became, life stood still. The dv raised my hope of starting a new and better life in the States. It seemed so near but very far now. After my lamentations, bitterness and anger, I decided to let go and surrender to God. Doing this relaxes me and enabled me see the next door that has opened for me and waiting for me to just accept and walk through. And that door was a juicy offshore job in an oil servicing company.
We can save ourselves a lot of pain and unnecessary stress if we can learn the art of detachment and understanding that you the ‘I’, the individual is different from the problems we faced. If you separate yourself from your situation, you can step back and re- arrange things accordingly, while catching on, and riding the next wave coming up in the horizon.
LEARN FROM THE EXPERIENCE OF OTHERS
Experience they say is the best teacher. Which I rightly agree with. But at times it’s painful and costly to learn from your own experiences alone. And you don’t have all the time in the world to make all the mistakes to learn from your failures. That’s why you need to learn from the experiences of others. Study history, read everything from the lives of those who turns their adversities into opportunities and blessings. Study their failures, steps, attitudes and the principles they applied to come back from the brink. Isn’t it apt here to say, that’s why you need a mentor? Who is a mentor? I dare say someone who has travelled the road and has come out unscathed and won against all odds. A mentor can help you shortcut the process of reaching success and your goals faster than you would if traveling alone. The good thing is that most mentors have left a part of themselves and experiences in books. If you have anyone you would like to make your mentor get hold of their book and devour it like your life depends on it. Having these virtual mentors can help you inculcate the good character traits of the authors. Of course, you have to develop the ability to always find a better way to benefit from your mentors without heaping your burden on them, as no mentor would spoon-fed you. Their purpose is to show the pitfalls, and dream killers along the way and help you sidesteps them. You have to walk the path yourself as you dare to be different in a world where challenges and adversities are always present to help us hone our capacity to survive.
THE BEST WAY TO DECREASE THE ODD OF FAILING IS PRACTICE.
When you fail don’t lie down and let life run roughshod on you. Stand up and as you are standing up pick something with you. Anything: a stone, sand or an experience. It’s better than staying down and bemoaning your woes. Practice, practice and practice is a sure way to increase the odd of winning. Yes, there are no guarantees, but I know that if I keep practicing my craft the law of average would work in my favor and I might win next time. This blog post is a form of practice to make me a better writer. If I keep at it maybe I will write a book that would become a bestseller on Amazon. Great athletes, musicians, authors and entrepreneurs as well practice and work very hard to be world renowned champions, Grammy award winners, and bestselling authors and innovators.
Being a serial failure hasn’t stunted by ability and enthusiasm to start new things. I have had several failures since I ventured into the digital marketing and online business space about three years ago. I haven’t made a dime but I keep plugging away since my passion for writing and the online business is enormous. I am still in the trenches practicing and finding out what works and what does not. Has my inability to make money online put a dent on my enthusiasm to keep going? No. I am fired up each day to keep practicing and learning. Soon I hope to write a blog income report as a testimony to my tenacity and perseverance in the digital marketing space.
Practice indeed makes perfect. As I write this note for this blog. A Nigerian Athlete, Tobi Amusan has just shattered the 100 meter hurdle at the World Athletic Championship in Atlanta, United States and at the Commonwealth games Bermingham, United kingdom. Before breaking the world record, she had been putting on appearances in several athletic meet and competitions with nothing to show for it. However in her a tweets that surfaced on the internet after she won in Atlanta, she opined that she would not give up until she wins. And she kept practicing. Today you would agree with me that the 10,000 hour rule worked in her favor. Let’s emulate Tobi Amusan by putting in the work and practicing until success is unearth for us instead of quitting at any sign of failure. I hope this teach us a thing about the nitty-gritty of how to bounce back from failure.
I hope I have what it takes to bear the burden of life’s challenges and to keep trying and not quit and move to my village to join my peers who are enjoying life in their farms and meeting to drink the local gin everyday after a hard’s day job in the farm.
Nevertheless, each time I fail I have learned not to lie down flat on the ground and cry like I sometimes do. I stand up look to the sun and strike out again. I am learning to boost my mental toughness and don’t let unpleasant conditions weigh me down, keeping my Will broken. Right now is the time to develop smarter Ideas and go out to try them. I am studying everything I could find in the area where I want to start my next project, as well as acquiring new skills that would enable me cut my chances of failing and increase my odd of success. I hope if I keep trying I will find the elusive pot of gold and become a Superman or Batman in my world.
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LIFE IS A GIFT
I hope you know you are Powerful beyond measure and that this life is a gift to you and to me and we should treasure it. Ultimately, making good use of our time here on earth should be our utmost priority. Find your purpose and the reason why you were born. Do everything in your capacity to fulfill that before your time here comes to the end.
Life becomes enjoyable and pleasurable to live when you align your work with your purpose. Discover the things to love about yourself as this help increase your well being.
When you see life as a gift you will handle it with care and if you manage to find your purpose and passion your odds of failing will decrease.
This post how to bounce back from failure keys in with your ability to maintain a positive attitude. A positive attitude helps you recognize the many gifts in your life. This opens you to gratitude which is the secret of abundance. To help you recognize the secrets of success read my post “8 Secrets of Success”.
YOUR FRIENDS WILL DESERT YOU:
Nothing last for ever anyway. I use to think that it’s incumbent on me to keep my relationships with friends from elementary school and high school. But like everything in life nothing stay constant, everything is in a constant state of flux. I am no longer friends with majority of the people I use to be friends with. Success as they say has many cousins, why failure is an orphan. If you have failed many times, you will understand what I am saying here.
Don’t let the fear of what people will say when you fail stop you from going out to try again tomorrow. Naturally life will weed out the things you don’t need in the next lap of your journey. So some former friends would be part of those you don’t need in the ride. Nevertheless, like life, friendship is also a gift. I am grateful to those few friends who stuck with me in my darkest hour, together we shall find more success in life and enjoy the fruits of good health and abundance.
As I put pen on paper to write this note to you my esteem readers, the rain started falling. However, as I was finishing the note, I noticed the rays of the sun breaking through the cloudy sky. And currently shinning with intensity. Perplexed, at the same time joyous, I remembered the cliche ‘ after rain come shine’. The sun will shine again no matter how many times you fail.
I like to hear your thoughts and opinions on this note. Please leave a comment. Also, I plead with you to share this on social media using the social buttons below. It took me more than 16 hours to write this, it will take you less than 20 secs to share.
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